for the love of god, stop reading self-help

22 Mar, 2026

When I was in my late teens, I considered myself an avid "reader". I put this in quotation marks, because I was reading, but with all the depth of a pool so shallow a puppy could drown in it.

I was someone who shared the sentiment "if I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read something practical". So, of course I started reading self-help books. The reasoning made sense, if you want to improve yourself, read something that's entire premise is about self-improvement, right?

I "read" a book per week, and by read it was more akin to skim reading than actually reading. Going through and trying to pick up the point quickly. I used to brag about reading a book a week, often to the amazement of my classmates. What an asshole.

This carried into my young adulthood. I had all the classics, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The One Thing, on and on and on. I quickly started to realize that once you've read one, you've basically read several. TSAoNGaF (fuck trying to write that all out again) is just college bro's version of The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins¹, and both are just dumbed-down regurgitations of stoic and Buddhist philosophy. Atomic Habits is just a newer version of The Power of Habit.

All of these books, you basically get the gist within the 1st chapter. Which makes sense, because most of these books are extrapolations from blog posts or email newsletters.

Look I get the appeal, sometimes you need someone to say things in just the right voice for it to sink into your head. Sometimes you just wanna feel like you're improving. However, what you're essentially paying for is $20 worth of filler and a blog article that got stretched to reach a word count.

Let's be honest with ourselves here, these rarely stick with us. When was the last time a self-help book TRULY changed the way you look at the world? Odds are, probably never? Out of every self-help book I've read the only one I probably remember the most of was How to Win Friends, and mostly just that one Lincoln story.

Self-Help books to me are more akin to masturbation than anything. Yeah sure, you might feel better after doing it, but what are you gaining really?

I have since rid myself of all my self-help books. I donated them to a library. However, I found that I quickly stopped reading altogether. I'm not saying everyone needs to read for leisure, but damn we can do better than self-help slopping ourselves to death.

I started with going to the source of many of these self-help titles. Philosophy. Since a lot of them seem to rip off the Stoics, I started with Marcus Aurelius, then Epictitus, then Seneca. Honestly, can't blame people for wanting the spark notes on these as they can be a bit dry. Should be no surprise I later got into Camus.

I started to get more into fiction. I started with simpler writings from IPs I enjoy like Halo: The Fall of Reach & First Strike. I probably killed about 100 pages in a single day and I loved it. Then I read some of Cormac McCarthy, starting with The Road. Then moved to something a bit tougher like William Gibson's Neuromancer. Graphic novels like Scott Pilgrim and Bone. So on.

There are 2 books that made me realize the importance of reading something of actual substance. The Lord of the Rings, and The Catcher in the Rye. I started to get more into literary analysis to try and pick apart central themes and ideas being conveyed through the works. LotR is a masterclass in descriptive scene writing that can spark a certain level of whimsy to your every day life. Anaylizing Catcher in the Rye actually helped me see some parallels I saw in myself and Holden Caulfield.

I think the reason why reading fiction, philosophy, history/biography books is so impactful is the way we have to interact with them. When reading fiction, you're trying to figure out motivations of the characters, symbolism, themes, developing your sense of empathy, etc. With philosophy you are taking ideas and pondering them in your own head and questioning yourself and the world around you. History/Biography books are probably some of the most important books you can read as you'll see the patterns in real life.

I think reading is a lot more fulfilling when we are not consuming a mindless barrage of hustle slop.

Amendment: I want to make it clear that I am not judging anyone for reading self-help. If you get enjoyment out of it, then by all means. This post stems from a concern I have from seeing a pattern of people buying self-help books and feeding a seemingly consumerist cycle without actually gaining anything from it. Almost like people are looking for some magic bullet. I also want to note that not all self-help books are bad. I have no qualms with people who want to offer advice earnestly. My issue is with the pervasiveness of the aforementioned hustle slop, written by moguls and gurus alike who very apparently don't care for the reader and simple want the status and the money.

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as of writing this...

lazy sunday. It's been pretty nice out, so I spent some time with my wife and daughter outside enjoying the fresh air. Did a bit of reading, finishing up a chapter from Blood Meridian. Not sure what I'll do for the rest of the day.

#2026 #personal