Tradwives: Where Feminism Goes to Off Itself
There's a new trend I've been hearing about online for some years now, and it's been making me sick the more I think about it. Tradwives.
I won't go into what a tradwife actually is, you are probably well aware of who these social media influencers are. You've probably seen a ton of commentary videos on the subject.
You've seen them. A 19 year old girl, who speaks with a sparkle in her eye. Talking about how she devotes her life to her wealthy husband who takes care of her financially while she takes care of the house. Oh what's that? The husband is 10 years older than her? They've known each other for 6 weeks before getting engaged when she was 18? Huh...
The irony is the fact that despite these tradwives making a big deal out of how they don't have a job, them producing their lifestyle content IS contributing to the household income. It IS a job. They are in the business of selling younger impressionable girls a fantasy.
I look at these girls and see my own daughter. I know I'm not quite "old enough to be your dad" age, but I see these videos that come from these tradwife influencers and it sends a chill down my spine. Why the fuck is a dude cracking 30 going after a girl that just barely got done with having to do homework?
The worst part is, you can tell how immature these girls are. They will answer any question of "what happens if you guys divorce" with "oh that'll never happen". That same naive teenage invincibility we are probably all familiar with. They think it could never happen to them, when it's a 50/50 shot it will be them. They might believe it with all their heart, but predatory men will lie to get what they want. It's terrifying, it's sad.
These girls either are incapable of or simply won't listen, even to the hundreds of thousands of women who have walked in their shoes. Thinking that the man they married will take care of them forever. And then the divorce papers come 10+ years later. They have no bank account, they have no money, they have nothing but ashes and fallout.
It's propped up under the guise of "female empowerment", but it is simply anything but. There's nothing empowering about putting your entire life in the hands of a much older man who married you young for a very disturbing reason. There's nothing empowering about flattening your identity to being beneath your husband and children. You aren't treated as an equal, or a partner. You are treated as a dishwasher you can stick your dick in.
This was a conversation I had with my mom a while back that has stuck with me. When it comes to being the stay-at-home-mom/wife, your identity becomes diminished more often than not. My mom was always addressed as my mom, or my dad's wife. Hardly ever was she referred to by her name. It wasn't until my dad died and I grew older that she started to get her identity again.
I've seen the videos where these trad wives show their husbands, and they let mask fall off. They tell them they'll dump them if they go to college or get a job on their own. There's videos of young girls talking about how they want to be a trad wife, but when you start asking the right questions the gears start turning. Okay you wanna be a trad wife... how are you gonna find someone who makes enough money to afford that lifestyle? Are you ready to have your entire life dictated by a man and children?
Hell, I've seen Stay-at-home-girlfriend influencers, which is just... odd.
Mrs. Pirate could be considered a "trad wife" or a the very least a stay-at-home-mom. What these influencers will never do is show the ugly side. The uncompensated labor that goes behind domestic labor. I can't help but feel like this whole trend is one big psyop to prevent women from engaging in the world. Women tend to be far more progressive and are a significant voice when it comes to politics. That scares the patriarchy more than a man wearing eyeliner a la My Chemical Romance.
It makes me sad for these girls, and angry at these men who are clearly in it for predatory reasons, they certainly don't hide it.
As I mentioned earlier, I see my daughter in these girls to an extent. I really hope I raise her to be independent and to not fall into this trap. If she ends up with a family and is in a position where it makes sense for her to stay home take on the domestic labor, what with the rising cost of childcare, that's one thing. I just hope she doesn't sacrifice her being on the alter of the patriarchy. I hope she finds a partner that wants to see her be ambitious and chase her dreams. Not stuff her in a cage like a bird with clipped wings.
These girls deserve better, and I hope they gain lucidity before it's too late.
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as of writing this...
I've got the house to myself for the next two days. Mrs. Pirate and Mini Pirate went camping with grandma and I stayed home because I had work. Well I got tomorrow off, so I plan on enjoying the time I have. I ordered some pizza and have just been chilling at home. It's been nice.