You're not a "high value" man, you're just a prick.

15 Oct, 2025

TW: brief mention of sex abuse

You've probably heard the term "high value man/male" and threw up in your mouth a little bit. It's been something I've seen for a while, and while not particularly 'new', it is something I wanted to talk about as a man.

Prior to the "high value man" craze, came the MGTOW movement. A movement I briefly associated with. I fell into the trap of believing that women are likely to divorce you and take half your shit after reading horror story after horror story of men going through the worst case scenario.

I was becoming an adult at the time (roughly 18/19 entering the workforce), and didn't have my dad to help guide me. I was basically on my own. I could always talk to my mom, but it's hard to talk about what it means to be a man in society with a woman. No different than women being told what it means to be a woman from men. I was lost, and the youtube algorithm fed me an "answer". Basically "disregard females, acquire currency". I began to see the women in my life as the exception rather than the majority. I focused more on making money and hooking up with random women to try and fill some void.

I became disillusioned with the MGTOW movement roughly around the time I first met my wife. I just realized that the ideology being peddled at me wasn't congruent with who I am as a person. I really hated the way they talked about women, the double standard bullshit. It also wasn't what I saw masculinity to be.

The concept of masculinity for me has since shifted over the years, but it has a core foundation that comes from remembering who my dad was. To me, being a man is about generosity, endurance in the face of adversity, being a good husband, having the courage to admit when you're wrong, fighting for those you love, being a good father. This was my dad, this was being a man. When he died, over 200 people (most not even related to us) came to his memorial. Everyone from old coworkers he hadn't spoken to in years to family to people he's built relationships through his skill as a mechanic/DJ/car audio technician/chef. Being a man is about leaving a positive impact on people's lives, so much so that they will feel like something was lost from the world when your time is up.

So, the latest incarnation of the MGTOW movement is the concept of the "high value man". It's basically the same thing, but with even more sprinkling of blatant misogyny. Double standards, body shaming, hell I even saw one that was basically just saying to rape your wife if she says no to sex. If you think being okay with rape makes you a "high value man", you deserve to spend the rest of your life knocking on neighbor's doors to tell them you're a sex pest. It also had a weird air of pedophilia (or at least ephebophilia), which is just... wonderful... -_-

A lot of it I think comes down to deep insecurities. I wouldn't be surprised if these men who want a virgin, or in some cases at most 3 sexual partners, because they didn't want to be compared to other men and gripping the fact they suck at sex.

There's a lot of talk about how "good women" are subservient to them, and you get the pick-mes¹ who enable it. They fetishize Asian women, particularly Japanese, because they think they're these timid servile housewives.² It's like they don't actually want a relationship, they want a robot they can fuck (maybe that's why so many of them are turning to AI dating). It's just pathetic.

A lot of it also comes from a critical lack of self-awareness. The Venn diagram of "Nice Guys" and "high value men" is almost a circle. With the only difference is the high value men has maybe gotten laid once. You fail to consider maybe your actions are the problem. Maybe women don't want to date you, not because they're some woke, man-hating feminist, but because you're an asshole. Nice people don't have to go around telling people they're nice. They don't blow up at women when they reject them. Swallow your pride before you choke on it.

There are a lot of lost men out there that have no fucking clue what to do in a world that has failed them, hell everyone, on all accounts. While I do hope they snap out of it, I'm not entirely convinced that even some of them will. It seems these spheres have a way to connect with these lost men's insecurities and functionally brainwashing them into this hustle-culture, red-pill, anti-woke, whatthehellever. All it seems to do is line the top guys peddling this shit's pockets and make everyone else miserable.

Don't be a sucker.

For my fellow men out there

If you stumble upon this, I hope to give you some takeaways:

1. Being vulnerable is not being weak.
2. It is not "gay" or "feminine" to care for others.
3. The patriarchy isn't just a thorn in the side of internet feminists, it's also the reason there are so many unrealistic/obtuse expectations forced on you.
4. Money doesn't define your value as a man
5. The amount of partners you've had doesn't make you more or less of a person.
6. Stop listening to internet dorks who are just trying to sell you something (seriously, selling courses on being a man?)
7. It'll be hard navigating life if you don't have a good role model, but you can do it.
8. It is not "feminine" to be competent in house duties. It's the bare fucking minimum as a functional adult.

Anyway, that's pretty much all I have to say on the subject. Thanks for reading.

Pirate is wearingall-black converse, jeans, black Linkin Park tee, red flannel
Pirate is feeling bored.
Pirate is listening to chill Frutiger Aero playlists
Pirate is playing on his Minecraft forever world, later.

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