On Dealing with Neurodivergence

09 Oct, 2025

Everyone handles neurodivergence differently. I think it can be interesting to talk about how each of us handles their symptoms, I want to share what I struggle/deal with in hopes maybe it'll give you some ideas for coping mechanisms.

For context, I am diagnosed with ADHD and soft-diagnosed with ASD.¹

Sensory problems

For start, I'm pretty sensitive to light. More specifically incandescent lights. I hate light that is too white, or too directly in my line of sight. I prefer soft warm light. I also despise light being directly above me, so I will often turn off the light directly above me and turn on the one that's a bit further. Just feels like I'm visually screamed at. I'll also wear a hat often. I can kind of deal with it at work, because it's out of my eyes just enough. Driving is the worst though, I've started wearing sunglasses at night because of how bright headlights are.

I hate the heat. I get so uncomfortable and grumpy when it's hot outside. It's why I love spring and fall because it's a lot cooler (and also darker outside, big plus).

Food can be tricky, I'll usually rely on mixing textures in order to still enjoy food. If eggs aren't cooked right I will actually gag. Bananas and oranges are hit or miss. Fatty meats are basically my hell (god forbid I get a tendon or even worse, a vein). I generally just try to avoid non-lean proteins, and "mushy" foods. I don't like yogurt by itself, mix it with some fruit (not pre-frozen that shit is gross) and granola and I'm slamming it. Seasoning will have a drastic impact on whether or not I will eat something, too. Sometimes something can be so under-seasoned that it impacts the texture of the food.

Sound is a love-hate relationship for me. I either want to be absolutely blasted by sound (usually music) or will get irrationally angry when things are too noisy. Kids are a big trigger (ironic considering I'm a dad). My daughter just... LOVES to scream, she's like a little pterodactyl. I personally wanna rip my ears off. Whining, screaming, scream-crying basically short-circuit my brain and absolutely get sent into rage and have to get out as quickly as I can. Usually I try and wear headphones, I have this brand of earplugs which reduces the decibels a significant notch without completely being noise-cancelling and they have saved me quite a bit. I keep them on a clip that I can get easy access to.

Weed helps a lot with sensory processing, I feel like I can tolerate more or at the very least not explode/implode. I try to go with Indica which seems to work well with the ADHD symptoms.

Social

You ever seen that scene in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater where Eva is flirting with Snake, but he is just absolutely GEEKING over this custom-made 1911? Yeah that's basically me. I've struggled really hard with telling if I'm being flirted with. I've been outright told I'm attractive to my face by a girl and still not pick up on it and not find out until they've explicitly told me they were flirting WAY later.

Like this one time, I was at a lounge/bar with some friends (male and female), and the server and I started talking about books and I was giving recommendations and all this stuff. The girls looked at me and were like "you do realize she was flirting with you right?" And I'm just thinking "WHAT?? I thought she just really wanted to hear my book recommendations!". sigh

I'm also not very good at judging whether people are joking or not unless there's some other context clues I can pull from. I'll be in DnD, do something that pisses the other party members off (the characters not the people playing them), and they'll act accordingly. But I still will be like "shit, are they actually mad?"

I suck ass at eye contact, but nobody seems to call it out. I can sometimes read if someone is very "alpha" presenting (usually just means loud, "dominant", older, men) in which case I'll try and force eye contact.

I'll usually rely on the help of others when communicating (most specifically written), because I can't tell how my words are being perceived.

I'm not great at "reading the room", either. Which can be good or bad depending on the situation. Sometimes it can break the tension, or sometimes I just get looked at like an asshole. I make the joke that my wife is my handler, because she will give me a debrief of who will be at the location because

I've learned I can be very blunt or sound mean sometimes without trying to be. I just try and be a bit more over-explanative as to minimize not being misconstrued... doesn't always work.

Meltdown vs. Shutdown

I very rarely meltdown, shutdown is what I face most. Completely inwardly imploding.

Emotions are gone, I'm physically drained, and I've stopped talking (not completely non-verbal, I've just fully disengaged from everything).

I can really only avoid this through the use of my headphones, sunglasses, and marijuana.

Stimming

I sometimes like to gaslight myself into thinking I don't have AuDHD and then see that I'm the only one in the meeting who can't quit rocking or being generally restless in my chair, or fiddling with something, or picking my nails (when I'm in sensory overload).

Picking my nails drives my wife nuts (i think she just hates the sound, kinda like a clicking pen), so she'll grab my hand and pull it away from the other which I HAAAAAATE the feeling of that. So, I try to do another stim that feels good, circling my thumb with my index finger.

Inattentiveness

While I am considered hybrid in my ADHD diagnosis, I present a lot of the inattentive symptoms. Difficulty paying attention to details, being easily distracted, trouble organizing tasks, forgetfulness, and challenges in following through on instructions. I think the last straw to get tested was when I was trying REALLY hard to pay attention to my wife when she was talking and still just spaced out.

It kind of feels like everything else becomes background noise to my own thoughts.

I also struggle with just being able to do tasks. I've found that my ADHD meds (non-stimulant) work well enough. I wish Vyvanse didn't give me such negative side effects because that shit worked great for everything else. So good I'd start telling myself I don't have ADHD because I'm being functional, then realizing "yeah, dumbass, you're medicated. Of course you managed to put the dishes away".

Quitting smartphones/social media has REALLY helped with the ADHD side of things. I feel like the symptoms aren't nearly as drastic since quitting. Still can be a pain in the ass to deal with, but at least it isn't AS bad.

Other odd symptoms/coping strategies

• weighted blankets and eye masks are great, I've never slept better since getting one.

• My writing is all over the place, I will often jump back and forth between paragraphs because I'll get a thought and then go write the other paragraph and come back (or not). I've probably done it several times already just in this article.

• I really want to go back into a sensory deprivation tank again. It's been years and I've been yearning to go back.

• You ever just go into a pool and sit under the water, holding your breath? Peak inner peace. Everything is quiet and muffled

• Becoming more of a morning person. Out of necessity, I've become more of a morning person, and it's honestly not too bad. I can't sleep for more than 8 hours most days anyway, because my body will get REALLY uncomfortable. The world being dark and quiet in the morning is so different compared to night. Maybe I'll double down on being a morning person.. who knows?

In the end

There's probably some other stuff I'm forgetting to mention, but that's kind of the main stuff. I'm curious of how other people deal with their neurodivergent symptoms since the neurodivergent space is SO expansive.

Anyway, that's it. Thanks for reading all that if you did.

Pirate is wearing all-black converse, black pants, pink tie dye Linkin Park shirt.
Pirate is feeling bored.
Pirate is listening to After Laughter by Paramore
Pirate is playing Minecraft b1.7.3

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#2025 #mentalhealth