The Times I Took One Too Many Edibles
If you know me on some personal level, or.. shit just look around at my blog (that ain't a cigar captain bones is smokin), you'd know I am an active stoner and have been for a while. I started experimenting in my late teens with my uncle who got me on small doses of his penjamin and some edibles that got me to stop picking the tomatoes off my tacos. I'm no Snoop Dogg by any means, but I'm definitely past the point of casual.
It hasn't been all sunshine over my several year experience with the Lord's Loud. There's been 3 times I've hit the "bro took too much" point. 2/3 times came from edibles, with the 1/3 came from a time I took a blinker off a friend's penjamin when we all went to a little border town that had some casinos (but we were mostly there to buy cheap weed). Thinking it was gonna be some dinky PoS one of my buddies would bring in that barely got you off because the battery was powered by hamster wheel. Shit had me in this casino locked into a chair, completely tunnel-visioned, and hearing every noise that happened in this casino on top of my friends all worried they fucking killed me. I recovered without hitting green-out territory, but that shit sucked.
I'm gonna tell you about the 2 times I overdid it on edibles, and the valuable lessons I learned those days. So grab some munchies, and laugh at my expense.
Story 1: Vegas
So, this story is the time my mom snagged me my own bottle of edibles. I was roughly 18-19, I hadn't met my wife yet. I was on a family trip to Vegas to visit a family friend and we hit a dispensary. My mom being the G she is, bought me some hybrid gummies. Couldn't tell you fuck all about these edibles as I was still a noob.
We were heading towards Freemont street and I decided to take an edible. I waited about 10 minutes, and I did that one thing that every stoner who cares about your wellbeing warns you NOT to do, and took another. Still nothing, so I just let it sit.
It was about the time we got to the restaurant that both of the edibles hit at the exact same time. My feet felt like I put on shoes made of cement, and I was using 100% of my brain power just to follow the hostess to our table.
Shit had me lookin like Eminem during that one ESPN interview:
I remember thinking it was the best goddamn burger I ever ate, and then we left to go to Freemont Street proper. We hit up some bar and my folks had ordered some margaritas. Apparently I passed for 21, because they handed me one too. What was I gonna say? No?
The edibles were peaking by this point, I remember talking to everyone, but I just kinda got glanced at like they were giving me the cold shoulder. Come to find out I hadn't said shit that whole time, except for when I got coaxed into riding a mechanical bull. My step-dad still has the video of my cross-faded ass riding this bull to minimal success.
We get back to the place we were staying at, and I drift off to sleep. I wake up the next morning and my stomach was sour as hell. Threw up, and then felt better. Worked out since we were packing to head home.
Lesson learned: edibles take a while to hit.
Story 2: The Nerds Rope
So, I used to work for a gas station. Nice thing about gas stations is you'll sometimes make friends with complete fucking degenerates like yourself. Knew a guy who had a plug that supplied him with these nerds rope edibles. I went to the back room with him and a buddy and after some conversation, he split up this nerds rope between the 3 of us. It didn't look like much, about 3/4 the length of your thumb. I took the whole thing.
It hit about 30 minutes in, and I started feeling good... this is a bad thing. Where I was at the beginning of the trip is usually where you wanna be at the peak of the trip. This is when I learned about The Spins.
I legit felt like Magneto kept throwing off the Earth's rotation on me. I was sweating like a motherfucker. Walking inside and outside the building to try and cool off to no success. I finally threw up in a trash can in the office. Called my boss, gave him some BS excuse like stomach flu or something, and then called my wife (who was my girlfriend still at the time) if she could pick me up.
After rightfully calling me a dumbass, she came and got me. That woman is a saint.
Lesson learned: do not underestimate the power of the boof.
So, yeah, I've only been in "way too high" territory 3 times in my several years of consumption. I'm usually pretty good at knowing my limits, and I really try not to push that boundary. Now that I'm more educated and not driven by a need to turn by brain into stew, I have a pretty good time 99% of the time.
So, learn from me. If you're gonna partake in the devil's lettuce, don't be dumb like me.
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as of writing this...
Took the train into work today, did some reading, and played on my PSVita for a bit. Got to talking to one of my work friends. My mom sent me some gift money for an early father's day, and I'm considering hitting the retro game store later. Need to replace... something on my SNES because it'll "turn on", but there's no video. Need to make sure it's not a bunk power supply, bunk VGA, or if the system is just fucked.