Why Being a Kind Person is Hard
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I want to first draw a line between being a kind person and being kind. Being kind is a fleeting moment, but being a kind person is a way of life.
Its relatively easy to meet the bare minimum of not being a dick, but to be a genuinely kind person is difficult to maintain. It's a lot easier to be an asshole, especially online, but it's hard to maintain ones integrity to be kind especially towards people whom we maybe don't feel deserve kindness.
I would argue a majority of people are not kind people, I would argue at least 60% of people are not kind. They are not born this way, it is more often a product of upbringing. As they act in their own self interest, and to hell with the rest of the people their actions impact. These are your cheaters, your liars, the people whom climb up the ladder and then pull it up behind them.
People tend to fall into five archetypes; The Thespian, the Vermin, and the Specter, the Lamb, and the Shepherd.
The Thespian is the person who puts on a facade, it is the fake persona we put on for the sake of public niceties. It is this fiction, this character they play on the public stage, once the curtains draw and the door closes behind them, the mask comes off and thus comes a completely different character. They then take on the persona of either the Vermin or the Specter. The Thespian thrives in one-on-one interactions or small-group settings. They may do kind gestures, but only when it benefits them. Think of the person who gives money to a homeless person, but only is motivated to do so because they believe it will spark a mass of engagement and self-flatulence.
The Vermin resides in the vile, putrid sewage of society. These people either act in their own self-interest and damn anyone else their actions effect, or they deliberately spread hatred like a disease akin to that of Black Plague era rats, to which they share a common ancestor. These are the people who will go to a peaceful protest and try and find some way to justify killing someone, or they try to kill someone for the sake of it. They are the sadists, the trolls, the cheaters, the pathological liars, the abusers, the egoists. Anonymity only emboldens them, as they now don't have to put on a show and won't face the consequences of their actions.
The Specter is the most likely to become a kind person. These types of people may want to do good, but the fear and anxiety overtakes them. However, some Specters have a "the city is burning, not my burden" personality. They view the outside world as "not my problem". A person could be dying in front of them, and they will walk away thinking someone else will help. To them I say, "If not you, then who?".
The Lamb is the person whom does genuine good acts on a consistent basis without the expectation of reciprocity. They are the person that helps a stranger struggling, the person that can deescalate a confrontation before it turns violent. They do their best to help their community the best they can. They are the shoulder to cry on. They seek the good in everyone, no matter how hard it is. They are generally pacifists, they do their best to please everyone. This is the great tragedy to the Lamb. Lambs are likely to be taken advantage of, and when they create boundaries for their own protection they are ridiculed and their kindness is put into question. The kind person begins to ridicule themselves, distrust their intentions. This is why they generally thrive when accompanied by a Shepherd
The Shepherd share a lot in common with the Lamb, however the Shepard is content and confident in their morals, and is not afraid of confrontation when it is required. They are NOT pacifists, they fight with a righteous fury to protect the lambs of society and join hands with other Shepherds to fend off the Vermin as they surround them. They fight for social justice, the allies to the disenfranchised. They are leaders, and unfortunately can become martyrs. It is possible for the Lamb to become the Shepherd through personal growth.
To be a kind person is difficult. It is the constant struggle to do good in the face of adversity and to fighting our natural tendencies. It is to have a moral compass that is well aligned. It is to know what is right and to do so without question. It is to show mercy to people whom might have done them wrong. They do not operate on eye-for-an-eye morality. To be kind is to fight against your own inclination towards convenience. It is not convenient to hold the elevator open for someone, to help a stranger who is struggling, to do good even when there is nothing to gain from it.
It is easy to become a Vermin or a Specter. It is easy to partake in anonymous shit-stirring, to try and not be seen when people need help, to ignore their city burning around them.
Make no mistake, the kind person isn't perfect. Nobody is. To expect a human to be a complete paragon is unreasonable, however it is the quantity, quality, and intention. It is choices made over the course of time that build ones character.
So, ask yourself, who do you want to be? Every action is a choice we make, and we can choose what archetype we wish to embody. To be the Vermin, and spread harmful and hateful rhetoric for their own enjoyment and seeking for power. We can choose to masquerade like the Thespian. We can choose to ignore everything and be nothing like the Specter. Or we can choose to be just like the Lambs and Shepherds of society. The choice is, and has always been left up to you.